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The Worst Texas Hold Em Hands

You’ve started playing poker online for the first time and boy, you’re excited! You’ve heard of the great bluffs by pros like Phil Ivey and Annie Duke and now you think you stand a chance. Fact is, Jack, you’re not there yet, and you’ll be eaten alive if you don’t play according to the cards for your first several months as you develop your own strategies and techniques at the Texas Hold ‘em tables.
2-7
This hand is so bad that it’s sort of revered by a lot of players and has created a whole sub-genre of Texas Holdem devoted to rewarding those with the balls to play it. These are the lowest two cards that you can have that can’t make a straight and even if they’re suited, any flush you make will be playing a very low one. It’s also known as “the Hammer” in some circles and some people play it in just for fun, it’s that bad.
2-8
Imagine the above hand, but hey, you’ve got an eight! Congratulations, you’ll still lose the hand. The eight is moderately higher than the seven but I seriously doubt there’s been a game won by one player holding an eight over their competitors.
3-8 and 3-7 (TIE)
You might be able to make a straight with 3-7, but it would be a miracle and if there’s any other straights on the table, it’s likely you’ll be kicked to the curb. If you’re really confident and they’re suited, maybe, but I’d prefer to stick with something that’s not complete garbage.
2-6
If the board gives you a miracle flop of 3-4-5, you will have a straight, but, and this is key: someone with a 6-7 will have a higher straight. If you get a flush, someone will probably have a higher flush. Against even just 4 players, this hand will lose about 90% of the time. Don’t, even if you really think it’s your chance.
2-9, 3-9, & 4-9 (TIE)
The only thing these three hands have going for them over the hands above is the 9. If the 9 pairs, you’ll have a middle pair that could still be beat by anyone holding pocket 10s, jacks, queens, kings, or aces, yet you might be fooled by a board filled with low cards into thinking you have the best hand and losing a lot of money. No straights can fill the gap between these cards, either. Beware.
Hopefully these tips will help you play the game the way it was meant to be paid, at least until you learn how to make the way it’s not supposed to be played work for you.